Do you turn to food when you are experiencing feelings of discomfort?
Do you find yourself running to the pantry or fridge when you are feeling really uncomfortable or anxious?
In the past, if I had really uncomfortable feelings, I would look for comfort in food. I would immediately want to escape from those feelings and food did it and did it quickly. I would get that temporary fix, but then guilt and shame would creep in. I would regret treating my body that way, but would also feel like I was a bad person who had no will power.
Have you had these feelings too?
Unfortunately, eating comfort food often can also lead to uncomfortable feelings about your physical body. You may feel overly full and may even see the result of continued eating on your body as extra weight.
The feelings could be from different circumstances and can be triggered from a number of perceived or real events:
Feeling like you disappointed someone.
Feeling criticized.
Feeling rejected or neglected.
Feeling misunderstood.
Feeling like someone is angry with you.
Feeling tired, overwhelmed or stretched too thin.
Feeling stressed about the future.
Feeling like saying no, but saying yes to something you don’t want to do.
Feeling like you can’t be yourself.
Feeling insecure or unsafe in a relationship.
All of these feelings and more can spike your cortisol, put you into fight or flight mode, and cause you to reach for food to quickly come back to a calmer, safer state.
Emotional eating does just that. It changes your state from uncomfortable to soothed. We know it’s a short term fix, though. It becomes a cycle. Discomfort - eating - soothed - shame and/or guilt - repeat.
Can you identify what sets off your icky or uncomfortable feelings?
As I have learned to sit in the feelings longer and be OK with them, the reaction to immediately eat isn’t there as much. It takes practice. It’s a journey and it is never perfect and you do not need to be perfect.
I also have to be OK if I do eat. It happens and it’s OK if it happens to you, too. You are a beautiful work in progress.
The key is to know that all of these feelings are normal and many times they are not about you at all. Some of them could be perceptions and thoughts that can be changed and even turned into positive thoughts.
Now that you are identifying the reasons you may feel uncomfortable, you can see that you were not hungry and you were turning to sugar, fat or salt to feel better.
Unfortunately, eating comfort food too often can lead to other uncomfortable feelings about your body, not just the weight. Slowing down and eventually stopping these patterns can help you feel better mentally and feel more in control. Your digestive system will feel better and you will have less bloating. Even if your body doesn’t change right away, your mind knows and you will feel more empowered with your thoughts and feelings and how you react to them.
How do we calm our minds, bodies and hearts so we can cope without the food?
Here are some ways to take care of you:
Breathe
Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts and hold for 4 counts. Repeat 5-10 times.
Walk
Walking and exercise can temporarily relieve anxiety and stress.
Tapping
Tapping (EFT) is a great way to stop the chatter in your mind and stop the loop of conversation.
Positive Self Talk
Remind yourself you are OK and in control. All things will resolve themselves. Remember where your heart is. Your intentions are good.
Perspective
Remind yourself what is real and what is just a thought. We often create the “worst case scenario” in our heads. Imagine the BEST case scenario.
Gratitude
Making a list of 5 things you are grateful for can really turn your negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Thoughts CAN be changed.
Meditation
Meditating for some is difficult, so try an app like Calm. There are specific meditations for anxiety and stress. You do not have to be a great meditator to get relaxation from these mediations.
Nature
Connecting with nature feels very grounding and can help soothe the mind. Seeing the trees, the sky, the ocean or a lake can help. Take your shoes off and feel the ground. Enjoy the fresh air.
Connection
Talking with someone who understands you, can give you positive feedback and affection can calm your system. It also helps you feel less alone in your situation.
Your eating is just a byproduct of your uncomfortable feelings, but those feelings are not the root cause. Getting to the root cause will give you the best results.
Perhaps you need to say no to a commitment, have a tough conversation with someone, forgive someone, apologize for something, reach out for connection time with someone, get a hug or just give yourself some more quiet time and space.
Deep down, you know may already know what you need. Take care of you!
XOXO,
Kim
Click below to get 5 non food ways to SMASH your cravings and end emotional eating.